[My rendition of a classic SNL skit... unfortunately, I can't find the original video, but the original audio is at the bottom of this page]
"Online poker is so complicated, you have to be a genius to understand it. You also have to be important, famous and successful. You say you're none of these? Well, then, I have one piece of advice for you - Get to know me! Get to know my likes, my dislikes. What makes me tick? What makes me me? What's my favorite color? Do I always come to life in the Spring? Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from a man who lives in Manhattan: "Dear Fly, before I got to know you, I was nothing, nowhere, nobody. I didn't have a cent to my name. In fact, I didn't have a name - I couldn't afford one. And then I got to know you, and today they call me Donald Trump!" Get to know me! What do I do in my spare time? Have I always had this much hair? Where is my secret freckle? Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from a basketball team in Texas: "Dear Fly, before we got to know you, we were nothing, nowhere, nobody. We couldn't do sh*t - especially in the playoffs. And then one day, we got to know you. We just outgritted the favorites in six games, and today they call us the World Champion Dallas Mavericks!" Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from someone who didn't get to know me: "Dear Blank, I didn't get to know you, signed Nobody." Now, I know some of you are probably thinking, "What a jerk!" Congratulations! You're getting to know me! So, remember, if you want to get to know me, get to know me!"
C'mon seriously?!? Over a decade of playoff futility and within months of us moving to Dallas, we win a World Championship. My luckboxing continues and is apparently transferable. I will be selling locks of my hair for $1,000. But if you act now, you can have that DOUBLE sized for two low payments of $350. Act now! Get to know me!
4 hours ago