TIP: I made an addition to my poker set-up recently that I think will be super-helpful to most players.  I think my last such recommendation was for the f.lux, and I'm kicking myself for not installing it on my new machine until this past week.  But I think this new suggestion is just as good, if not better and it's one that is SEVERELY neglected by post people who talk about their poker set-ups...

That's right - they are plants.  Most people don't really think of plants as part of a "poker set-up," but I think they are a *must*.  I have 3 computers, 4 monitors and 2 printers in my office.  It wouldn't surprise me at all if a decade or two from now, they have definitive proof that all that EM radiation, wi-fi and who knows what other crap is coming out of the machines is bad for your health.  Considering I have to bombard myself every day - I feel like I clean nuclear reactors for a living - it's nice to have a little respite.  Here are some reasons for getting some plants in your office:

* They look nice.  Some plants look like crap, but I like the aestheitcs of the two I picked out from Lowe's.  The one on the left is a sago palm.  How can you go wrong with anything tropical?  Most places where you want to vacation has palm trees (unless you are one of those freaks who like going on cruises to Antarctica).  I like the one on the right (an anthurium) because it's pretty - and some of the proceeds go towards breast cancer.  I'm a big supporter of breasts...  um... I mean breast cancer.

* They generate oxygen.  If 'tards are paying $50-100 an hour at oxygen bars, you can get yours for pennies!  Who knows?  Maybe on the very very very margin, it may help my decision-making.

* They add humidity to the room - all of the electrical equipment adds a sh*t ton of heat to the room.  My office is probably the hottest room in the house, which means the air just gets really dry.  I'm just amazed at how quickly the soil dries out.  Plants help with that - not sure how - that's just what the tag that came with the plant says.

* They are low maintenance - I just have to water them every other day.  And I just have to throw in a stick of fertilizer very few months.

* They are absurdly cheap (most of them anyway) - I bought both of the above for less than $30.  regardless of your financial situation, there really aren't many more +ev purchases than this one.

So do yourself a favor and get some plants!

[ ] sylish paper plates.
[x] need to get new pots to replace the ones they came in (altho the pink one is growing on me)

[Here's that chicken enchilada recipe I promised you.  I'll put in a simpler recipe the next time.  Costco has the best rotisserie chicken - use that if you can.] 

Mrs. Fly's Smothered Chicken Enchiladas

This is a short cut version. The original involves a roux as well as making a chicken stock that simmers for hours... you need poker time not stove time. This version gets awfully close to my original. Trust me on this. 

Pick and shred one rotisserie chx. I use Costco's. Use dark and white meat. Set aside.

Enchilada Sauce:

1 can cream of tomato soup

1 can cream of chx soup

1 can chx broth

1/3 cup heavy cream

Season to taste with cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika, and coarse blk pepper. Or use 1/2 packet of taco seasonings. Do not add salt.

Place all ingredients in a medium sauce pan and whisk thoroughly until sauce is nice, creamy and heated through. Turn off heat, set aside. You'll use approximately 1/3 of sauce for filling, 1/3 to top enchiladas and rest to serve on side. 

Enchilada Filling:

1 diced large white onion

1 diced green bell pepper

3 cloves minced garlic

2 seeded jalapeno peppers (optional)

3/4 cup mexican blend cheese

1/3 of enchilada sauce (or more as needed to your preference)

chx meat

12-14 fajita size flour tortillas

In a large deep pot, saute veggies until soft. Add enchilada sauce and cheese and mix well. Add chx meat and mix thoroughly until all ingredients are incorporated. Turn off heat. 

Assembling Enchiladas:

Lightly grease casserole pan. On a cutting board, place filling onto tortilla and roll. Place seam down onto casserole pan. After last tortilla is rolled, pour sauce over enchiladas. How much you want to smother the enchiladas is up to you. Lightly and evenly sprinkle with cheese.

Cover with aluminum foil. Bake 30 minutes at 350. Uncover and bake for another 7-10 minutes or until cheese is nice and bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes. Garnish with cilantro or scallion. Serve with sour cream, pico de gallo and/or guacamole. Serve enchilada sauce in a gravy boat for diners who like their enchiladas extra saucy. 

Make rice and beans, toss a salad and you have a fabulous Mexican brunch or even company fare dinner. Great for potlucks and tailgates b/c it's yummy at room temperature. Also freezes extremely well. Just defrost overnight and pop into oven. Enjoy!!

Well, I finally fulfilled my year-long dream of going to the Texas State Fair the other day.  Life is short.  So one of the things I like to do is to make a Pail List.  Not quite as grand as a Bucket List, but some stuff I would like to do in the next 12 months.  Number 1 on that List was to go to the Texas State Fair.

The verdict?

Boy!  I hadn't been that disappointed since that Father's Day when I thought I was getting a special "gift," and Mrs. Fly fell asleep.

To be honest, it was a perfectly fine State Fair.  There were a lot more boardwalk games than I thought, and there were about as many rides as I thought.  They had better entertainment than I thought - they actually had performers that you would have heard of, like Randy Travis and the Bangles.  I wonder if they are going to sing a remake of their 80's hit - "Walk Like A Fat-Tex-an."  And they had a lot of animal-related activities for the kids.  But not really the kind of place to sneak in some equine luvin' so I just skipped the animal attractions, lest I start jonesing

What was the (other bigger) problem?  The food.

I have no one to blame but myself.  For some reason, I thought there were going to be vendors from all over the area, selling their awesome championship brisket, chili, tacos, and all the other foods that Texas is known for.  They had like 100 food stalls.  Unfortunately, about 80% of the food was either fried food or food that a quadriplegic could grill better in their backyard.  I guess I always thought the State Fair was where the locals duked it out for blue ribbons and bragging rights.  Nope.  This actually seemed a little too commercial - it was pretty obvious a number of the larger food companies rented out 5-10 booths each all around the Cotton Bowl.  This wouldn't be that bad if the food was awesome.  But it wasn't.

Here is a sampling:

Chicken Fried Bacon (past award winner).  How can anyone not like bacon?  One thing I noticed about Texans is they love anything chicken fried (fried in fried chicken coating).  Mrs Fly added some Tabasco to the ranch dressing - I'm married to a god damn spice mutant.  This was somewhat interesting.  It's not as greasy/fatty tasting as you would think.  Unfortunately, on one of the pieces, the oil didn't taste very fresh.  The bacteria in my intestines responsible for diarrhea thanks you.

Kraut Balls (this year's award winner).  It's basically saurkraut... can you guess?  That's right!  Fried in batter.  It was okay...  until I realized there was no dead animal in saurkraut.  I need some cow NOW!

By far the longest line was for some company whose name I can't remember who sold "original corn dogs."  One of the oldest tricks for finding good food in a foreign land (and Texas) is to just follow the crowds.  Let the locals tell you what's good.  It was pretty good.  You really can't go wrong with dead animal meat with supplemented with dead animal fat surrounded by dead animal casing, and wrapped in enough batter to soak up as much dead animal grease as possible.  Good, but not exceptional.

Fried Frito Pies (past award winner).  How to wash down all that fat and grease?  That's right!  More fat and grease!  I had never heard of this before, so I had to try it.  Basically it's a ball of chili and cheese wrapped in crushed Frito chips and deep fried in batter.  It was actually quite good (a little too salty) and we were enjoying it... until Mrs. Fly found an eyelash (we hope) in the basket.  She kind of freaks out about stuff like that.  But hey!  That's more for me!  And chili adds such an awesome olfactory experience to diarrhea.

We saw some fried butter (last year's award winner), but by that point I wasn't sure if my anus could take any more, so we went home.

BTW, the portions were larger, but I'm a big believer in eating street food while walking, but Mrs. Fly has to sit.  So by the time I got the food to the table...  you can guess the rest.  It doesn't seem like it takes much to win recognition (an award) at the State Fair.  Now on the Bucket List...

Open a food stall with Mrs. Fly at a future Texas State Fair.

[x] Old Man has too much free time
[ ] Talked to Mrs Fly about this
[x] Mrs Fly needs to do most of the work
[x] Killed any chance of getting a special "gift" any time soon

Lately, I've added something to my daily routine that I find pretty useful so I thought I'd share it with you.

I LOOOVE sleep.  But because I have sleep apnea, I sometimes wake up kind of groggy (must be all that insane snoring and skull rattling).  When my sister came over to visit two months ago, she got me hooked on Scrabble (for the itouch / ipod).  I hadn't played Scrabble in years (possibly longer), but I vaguely remember being pretty good, so I figured what the heck?  Anyway, I find that a dozen or so scrabble words in the morning wakes me up and gets me a little more alert.  I suppose some people pick up the morning newspaper or have that cup of coffee to get their brain going.  For me, it's been Scrabble.  I think it's something about having to think (to a degree), and the natural competitiveness in me just gets the juices going.  I also find it relaxing, so I'll play a little before a session and after a session.

I don't think I'm "great" at it - since I probably only get the "optimal" word like 20% of the time.  Even my kid sister beat me 5 games out of 8.  But my record so far is 188-24 and my rating is 1824.  Pretty good. But I think a lot of people who play are like 10 year olds because I'll have games where the score is like 450-150.  Or maybe they are just retarded adults.  One time, I thought I was playing with a pedophile because he was asking me questions like "are you a kid?"  "are you a teenager?"  "where do you live?"  But later on it seemed like he was just a kid who wanted to play other kids.  Not sure why Scrabble doesn't have have like some sort of "easy," "medium," "hard" type of thing.  But you know what?  It really doesn't matter.

I always thought of Scrabble as a game where you play against OTHER PLAYERS, but in a way, it's a game you play against YOURSELF.  I guess it's like golf.  On one level, you want to beat the other guys you are playing with, but a lot of times, you are just trying to play the best that *YOU* can.  So you can even have fun at it when playing in a foursome with Tiger, Phil and even Charles Barkley.

So if any of you guys want to take down the old man in an old fashioned game of Scrabble, look me up - I'm "doublefly22."  Send me a note so I know you're a blog reader.

Maybe I'll post some Scrabble tips later in case you have to visit your grandparents at the nursing home and they want to play.

OMFG!!!  Finally!  Subject Poker claims that Merge is allegedly going to take new customers starting at midnight.

If you were thinking about signing up at another Merge skin, consider signing up thru me by clicking one of the links to the right.  I really want to get this informal network of players going, and I now have a couple of good international contacts in the group to help the cashout process, in case there are any check disruptions.  But this is one of those systems that work much better when there are more people.

And you get the free insurance.  We had a minor scare last month - and that won't be the last one.

Remember how crappy you felt when people were scrambling to get their money off and you were sitting there with your 5-figure roll with no where to go?  If you are going to play poker seriously, you can't play under those conditions.  Give yourself another outlet - outs are always useful.  The DOJ isn't going to just sit around if Merge gets much bigger.

If you are an international player...  You can collect low-risk vig by participating in the network.  The insurance will still be useful (see FT and AP/UB) and I'll count rake on all non-US sites towards your insurance.

AND!!!  YOU GET THE SAME BONUS YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HAD YOU SIGNED UP THRU THE POKER SITE.  If you are a high volume reg, send me an email and we can talk about other incentives.  Just more win.  Join now.

NOW ANSWERING NOOB QUESTIONS!  I thought I would start answering those noob questions that no one seems to answer.  So if you have a question you would like to get a STRAIGHT answer for, post it at the bottom of the thread.  Or send an email to doubleflypoker@gmail.com

#1 NOOB QUESTION:  What is the softest site?

ANSWER: Any site other than PokerStars.  Seriously.

I did the following: I looked at PokerTableRatings for the top 50 winners at the NLHE 1/2 tables this year.  It seems to me that 50 is an adequate sample (altho 100+ would be better) to determine how competitive the games are.  Poker is a zero sum game, so for the winners to win *more*, they have to have a large pool of people to win *more* FROM.  I chose 1/2 because not all sites have an adequate sample of 2/4+ games.  I ranked sites in the table below in terms of WEIGHTED BB/100:

Of course, with any statistics, there are going to be some caveats.  THIS IS IN NO WAY INTENDED TO BE A COMPREHENSIVE STATICAL ANALYSIS.  But the data was out there, and I wanted to see what conclusions could be "inferred" (even remotely).  Sites where there aren't a large number of hands played (or sampled by PTR) will probably get skewed.  PTR only started tracking certain sites a few months ago.  And some sites allow frequent name changes.  So those sites are generally going to have an upward bias on win rates.  There may also be a game availability issue on the smaller sites - that games only get going during off-peak hours when there are fish wanting to play.  These are *some* of the reasons Cake and Bodog are such outliers.

I wouldn't start flocking to Cake and Bodog just yet.  You can only 4-table on Bodog.  If all regs 4-tabled on any other site, the "top winners'" win rates would be much higher.  Cake has limited HUD availability and they (along with Party) allow regular name changes (which makes it tougher to develop reads).  Both of these factors will stunt your online poker development.

For US players feeling like they are missing out because they only have access to a few sites, stop using that as an excuse for your lack of success.  If you can't make it here, you won't make it anywhere.

The data above pretty much is in-line with what my impressions of site "softness" was from my own experience and from what I had been reading on 2+2.

A few other takeaways:

* It seems interesting that with all the talk of bots on ipoker, the win rates seem in-line with the other sites.  Probably anything within 0.5ptbb is probably just noise (I pulled that number out of my ass).

* The real outlier in the tables is Stars.  Those games are obviously the toughest out there.  I was a little surprised that the win rates for the top 50 "winners" were so low.  The thing I find interesting though is that the average "winner" on those sites make 3x more MONEY than the other grinding sites.  Of course, the play 5x as many hands.

The moral of the story: playing with software bots >>> playing with human bots.

WARNING: VARIANCE AHEAD...

I Googled "volatility funny" and this photo came up.  I have no idea what this has to do with my search, but if Google says it's okay, I approve.

On the poker front, I had my best month of poker on Merge.  Yeah - it's only been 5 months, but I think it's saying something when the number was larger than most months I had on FT - especially since the average stake is much smaller.  I'm also up over 5 figures after less than 5 days this month.

Which got me to thinking...  why aren't people buying more popcorn for my database review?!?  Only 5 boxes sold so far.  I didn't realize I was writing to a bunch of god-damn bustos.  $22 for a chance at something that could be worth THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS doesn't sound good to you?!?  And it helps a bunch of cub scouts.  AND YOU GET POPCORN!!!  How is every reg worse than me (and a lot of regs better than me) not buying popcorn?!?  What else are you going to be doing on a Saturday night, except playing online poker and watching a movie by yourself?  Maybe you would have more friends if you bought some god-damn popcorn!

Having received all your emails over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, I'd just like to say... GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud! I mean, I can't believe how lethargic you are! You've turned an enjoyable little hobby, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!

I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves?

Most of you must be almost 30... have you ever kissed a girl?

I didn't think so! There's a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn't surf the net! I LIVED! So... move out of your parent's basements! And get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP! I mean, it's just some popcorn to help some kids, IT'S JUST POPCORN THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

HEY, YOU GUYS ARE... THE LAMEST BUNCH... I'VE NEVER SEEN...

PS - This was all in jest and my take on a SNL skit where Shatner goes to a Star Trek convention and goes off on the audience for not having a life.   It's one of the more memorable of the "old SNL" skits - maybe because I was laughing and crying at the same time (eh hem).   <3 you guys!  ;-)


But seriously, buy some popcorn - send an email to doubleflypoker@gmail.com.  The deadline is Saturday October 9 (I must have received your payment by then). And I decided how I'm going to choose the winner.  As a nod to TheMightyJim

(who recently named me as one of the 3 regs he wanted to spend with on a desert island), I'll use the score of the Duke (he went to Duke) - Michigan State game on Nov 15 at MSG.  BTW, that link is to his "well" on 2+2 - he's one of the better grinders out there, so if you have any questions for a solid winning mid-high stakes reg, this is your chance!  I think the game's going to be on ESPN.  Something along the lines of me assigning everyone numbers corresponding to the last digit of the final score (ie. A wins if Duke's score ends in a "0", B wins if Duke's score ends in a "1", etc).  Buy some popcorn before Evil Doublefly comes back.  Engage!

Oops.  Wrong version.  WARP FACTOR NINE!

Live long and proper (with popcorn).

WARNING: BEAT AHEAD...

Ugh.  I weighed in last month at 226.5.  I didn't try particularly hard (at all... eh hem).  And as promised, at the bottom of the post will be that embarrassing photo of my "hair" that you've all been waiting for since the hairy nipple photo.  I was a little surprised at how strangely matted my "hair" looked.  But you guys can look forward to that in a few secs.

The month started off poorly when I got invited over to our Vietnamese friend's place for dinner, and ate some carbs.  Had some more carbs when we had the Director of D's preschool over for dinner (enchiladas).  Had a few bites of the kid's desserts (including Mrs. Fly's trailer trash toffee).  Had fruit all month because I was feeling a little dehydrated from sipping too much wine and not enough water.  Yeah... basically a mess.

But I still lost weight!

Unfortunately, *THE* thing I was most looking forward to about moving to Texas...  the Texas State Fair (the largest of its kind in the country) is upon us - crazy street food, food contests, livestock, and live entertainment (later post).  And the holidays are just around the corner.  So I think this will be my last weigh-in for the year.  I've lost 40 pounds this year, and I'm pretty sure I can keep it off.  We've also had a long year and I think it's about time for a little break.  So my goal for the rest of the year will just be to maintain my weight loss.

Lameness... thy name is DoubleFly.

To those who are disappointed that this wasn't an anus photo (altho Whale would argue that it *IS* an anus photo), I decided the blog was venturing into gross territory - nipple hair, the hairy armpit, etc.  Gotta keep it clean for all the "yutes" out there.  Can't get much cleaner than Charlotte's Web (well, other than the fact that they were going to kill the pig and eat it, and Charlotte was obviously a ho since she had babies and we don't know who the father is.  It's always the ones you don't suspect who get knocked up).

In case you ware wondering that was a photo from the FT MSFR Secret Santa we did last year - I got a Homer Simpson clock with the same pose.  Still have it.

[ ] wondering

WARNING:  BRAG AHEAD

You may have been wondering, "what happened to all the food posts?"  Well, we got a little disorganized after the move, then Mrs. Fly's laptop died and then I never got around to networking the new laptop.  She is the keeper of all photos, LDO.  Well, now that I finally got around to setting up all the computers, I can start posting food posts more regularly.

She's always made awesome dinners, but since we've moved here, she's taken it up a notch.  The food's never been better.  I think when D no longer goes to pre-school part-time, and starts school full-time, she may pursue her interest in food.  We're not sure what yet, but that's a ways away.

Anyway, lately she's been making a lot of her famous chicken enchiladas. This is easily one of the ten best things she makes (and she makes a lot of good dishes).  I can't order enchiladas at restaurants any more because it's just so inferior in all ways - not enough meat and filling not savory enough being the two biggest complaints.  The last hope for outside enchiladas was when we went to our favorite beef fajita place (Uncle Julio's), but it was no contest (even tho they had a head start with their great freshly made tortillas).

Am I just deluded?  I don't think so - I've eaten at most of the best restaurants in NYC and a handful of the top restaurants around the world.  And early on in our marriage, her cooking was decent but not great.  I'm not one of those people who is going to lie to perpetuate crappy dinners.  I didn't get to 270lbs eating crap.  But here are other testimonials:

* A good MEXICAN friend of ours in CT and another MEXICAN friend here in Texas thought it was easily the best enchiladas they've ever had.
* One of our silver spoon friends (who's eaten at a bunch of good restaurants) got into a fight with his wife because the wife decided to serve two of the three trays of enchiladas (we had made for them before we left) to their guests.
* A local guy who hates ethnic food thought it was the most amazing thing he ever tasted and had to fight with his brother-in-law for the last piece. 

And more recently, she took the enchiladas to a pot luck brunch at a local women's organization and overwhelmingly was voted...  "Breakfast Queen."

Recipe to follow in a future post?  ;-)