I owe you a bunch of trip of trip reports.  So I suppose I'll just go chronologically...

Why did I get buck naked and let some squat Korean man rub me down?  No - I did not get sent to a North Korean prison for l(ing)mao when Kim Jung Il died.  [Good riddance, you dumb f*ck!  Sorry - just the South Korean in me.  :-)]  And I did not decide to walk both ways.  Mrs Fly and I decided to go to a Korean bath house.  We see people do it all the time on the Korean dramas we watch, and we thought it would be a "fun" thing to after we got settled.

It turns out there's a large Korean bath house in Dallas.  It's somewhat upscale, and not one of those "Korean massage" places that Koreans are known for.  There's a nude "wet" area (sounds like one of those "Korean massage" places, I know) where they have five pools of different temperature water (from like 60 degrees to 110+ degrees).  This area is NOT co-ed.  So I was basically sitting around naked with a bunch of other dudes.  This is going to *seem* incredibly gay to most Americans, but in a lot of cultures (mostly Asia and Europe) this is considered normal.  I feel weird telling you it's "normal" when it sounds so gay as I'm writing this.  Who am I kidding?  It felt good to be in the water for a few minutes but when I looked around it was pretty gay.  So I went for a massage and "scrub down."

[BTW, I'm not homophobic - I have several good gay friends.]

One of the more interesting things you can get at a Korean bath house is the scrub down. 
They take a semi-abrasive glove (kind of like a loofah) and they rub down your skin surface.  The grossest thing about it is that no matter how clean you *think* you are, they are able to rub off strands and strands of these "black noodles" off your skin.  This is just your dead skin in rolls.  The massage table is just covered with them.  Of course a little dead skin is actually GOOD for you, but whatever.  As I was retelling this story the other day to a neighbor at a holiday party, she asked me if it came with a happy ending.  WTF?!?  I'm not going to get a happy ending from a guy!  A GUY?!?  I suppose if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference, but it was reaffirming to know that Junior wasn't the least bit interested.

They also had a bunch of co-ed clothed areas - like over a half dozen different kinds of steam rooms and saunas.  One room was so hot it was like sitting in an oven, and I had to leave after like 15 seconds.  I got to enjoy an afternoon of hearing "bok bok" from Mrs. Fly.  WTF?!?  I didn't realize it was some kind of contest!  Other rooms had herbs, crystals, various temperatures, etc.  They also had a bunch of lounge chairs in front of a giant projection TV and a full service restaurant (food was meh but adequate).  I basically fell asleep while Mrs. Fly walked around for a few hours.  Apparently, you can stay for 24 hours for the $25 admission and some people actually use it as a hotel.  In those Korean dramas, whenever the husband gets kicked out of the house, he goes to the bath house to sleep, so I guess that makes sense.  I think in one drama, some of the husbands were "regulars" so they formed a club IN THE BATH HOUSE where they sat around bitching about their wives.  Pussies!  All I know is if I get in an argument with Mrs. Fly, *I'm* not the one leaving the house.  Sure, I may not get sex for the rest of my life, but I'm sleeping in the comfort of my own... sofa!  :-(